For the first time in my life i was looking into what might take me out of my misery or more appropriately, my unsecured financial situation since I will still be able to eat, sleep, buy basic stuff and kinda travel for a few more months before to get in a real state of poverty in case I keep on spending money without earning a penny.
Of course my main purpose in life isn't: money, money, money, obviously. I would say, quite sadly, that the first important thing for me to achieve is "recognition" (even if most people actually want the money part for that very purpose) and to finally prove to myself and to the world that I'm not absolutely worthless.
The second reason is "creation" and making oneself useful through it. Creating something that people would use and like even if it's just temporary. The third motive would then be "financial security" and getting to finally have a little more the freedom and flexibility that money provides you as long as you know what to do with it. A rich ass will always be an ass but a poor genius might as well become a rich one. I no saying I'm no ass or no genius, I just saying that "I dunno know where I actually really stand yet since I've never ever made the step into the queue. I can be a huge ass and something of a low level genius by some aspect, just depends about which intelligence we are referring to
So what was I doing exactly instead of studying korean (the whole day) as I really think I am supposed to?
Checking "app development" videos on youtube! And i stumbled into the one of a con artist named "chad Mureta". Someone that has no idea about "development" but that is good at marketing and could definitely convince an ass or two to buy a 2000$ product package that probably isn't worth a tenner of this price. But anyway, his video is still kind of encouraging even if obviously not "everybody" can become an "app millionaire" or even "thousandaire" for that matter. But I'm not everybody and have a genuine interest in "creating apps" instead of simply wanting to get money out of a new opportunity.
Anyway, I really have to get into that. Web design and app development have to be on the very top of my tasks list right after language learning (But i remember now, I don't even have any list). It should even be far before it since I have been wasting time and money learning languages and for what? Humm, If I keep living between Korea and Japan in summer (and maybe Taiwan) and warmer parts of Asia in winter for the coming years then knowing japanese and korean (한국어) make perfect sense or at least it will, hopefully. Since I'm sort of tired of Europe after living and traveling there all these years and since "the Americas" aren't "top priority" yet I just guess that staying in asia for a couple of more years at least is a sensible and comfortable choice for me even though I don't really know what "tomorrow" will be made of, even now and after all this time.
I wish I was writing that 10 years ago when I was 22 and still had "forever" to make things happen. But here we are, now "forever" is quite gone. I'm a slow dude and I really take my time so actually without even knowing, a decade has past by "i don't really know where" and apart from time travel I got little chances to go back to my early 20s anytime soon.
Anyway, 10 years ago yes I could surely have gotten into web design and programing with a little effort (or a lot) but smartphone "apps" hadn't emerged yet. Actually smartphone didn't really exist yet. So now it's the time to go for it.
Earlier would have been better for sure but since latter will be also worse then there's no time to lose really, isn't it?
What I have that others often lack is the ability to think about stuff nobody else can. Really? I don't really have any proof right now right here and I'm not gonna reveal any of my projects just for you to believe me. This imaginative power has quite faded away these last years since I have never ever used it in a constructive manner but I'd say that I'm still able to think in ways most people aren't able to and also to often not think in ways most people are able to just because I'm just so utterly different than most people. Maybe I take too much pride in it but really, can I have that at least?!
But, until now, there shouldn't be any big deal in being a loser, and trust me, I'm not happy to have the profile of one.
Actually I've been keeping on digging my own grave, losing my imagination and almost my mind into frustration, disappointment and bitterness for not achieving any of my dreams and goals yet while always getting older, as everyone does apparently, even me, and getting more bitter about my failures and passivity. Well, this whole process has to change and one of the first step is "creating", eventually!
I actually only wanted to write a short text about 3 main ideas I just had that could be turned into apps if that hasn't been done yet but I will write these ones on a different message that I will keep private and only share with myself for now.
These coming months will be very revealing for me (and others that have any interest but if you read until this point then I guess that you do, at least a little) as I have no choice but to push myself forward and finally find out if I have the potential to make anything positive happening
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